once a victim, always a predator..

I think I shared a little about the fact that I was abused as a child. Something I realized recently was that I am pretty suspicious of just about everyone. Some people are obvious, some I just get a feeling about. I rely on my instincts alot.

One of our neighbors has a teenage daughter. This summer there was this teenage boy hanging around. Of course. They also have a younger child that our kids play w/ nearly everyday. Our kids would come home talking about this teenage boy. I’ve never met him. Our neighbors trust him. I trust our neighbors, we’re pretty good friends. But just the fact that he was there all the time, I know why he was there, but the thought crossed my mind, what if, you know?? I mentioned it to dh. He said he didn’t get that about him at all. I didn’t really either, it was that thing in me.

You know Zai Zai played football this fall. We got to know some of the other parents a little bit. Most of them had other kids also, and most of the kids I met were really nice. There was one little boy that was maybe 8 or 9 that Sis latched onto at one of the games. He was really sweet to her, she would growl at him and chase him and he’d act scared and run from her, all in good fun. But again, there it was, what if ?? I don’t even want to write it out b/c I am not in any way accusing anyone of anything.

We were at a bonfire last night, it was dark. The boy and his family was there. Again, the constant on guard, suspicion was there. Sometimes I feel ok about always wondering, b/c at least I know that I am doing what my parents didn’t, I’m protecting my kids. But there are times when I think, man, why can’t I just chill out!? But I just can’t. I’ve seen kids who were victimized go on and victimize other kids. I’ve seen teenagers become predators. I just can’t let my guard down.

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~ by doulangel on November 2, 2008.

8 Responses to “once a victim, always a predator..”

  1. No, you can’t be too hypervigilant over this issue, at least in my opinion. Just hammer home w/ the kids that they should never ever be afraid to tell you of bad touches and that it’s not their fault if it happens and you and dh would never be angry at them. Empower them to come forward.

  2. It’s understandable. And your kids are still so young. Let’s hope they inherit your instincts and can keep themselves safe without it limiting their lives too much.

  3. Hey Kris, us old folks who can’t see very well anymore, esp. small print, are gonna have a hard time reading your new format….

  4. off subject…
    THIS IS A VERY DARK FORMAT!!!

  5. i am the same way, except I wasn’t abused. I am paranoid though. I rarely leave my child alone with anyone (including my amazing husband). even when I teach martial arts at the Y, I follow the kids out to the drinking fountain because I don’t trust the men working out. are we over protective? probably, but I tell you one thing, nothing is going to happen to my daughter or any child under my watch… I dread the day my daughter starts going to her friends’ houses without me.

  6. ok, joj, i’ll see what i can do about that.
    jenn, it’s a scary thing. i always pray and make sure i know who will be there and all that.

  7. I can’t say that I understand from your point of view, since I don’t have kids… But I can say, that I understand. It is good you’re paying attention because like you said about your parents, my parents never did. Just remember though, you can’t obsess over it. There’s a fine line between obsession and being protective.

    I have a suggestion… Maybe talking to the neighbors who are close friends about your concerns wouldn’t be such a bad idea? Just a mention of it, ask them to keep their eyes open. If you deliver it in the right way, they won’t take it as if you’re making an accusation.

  8. the way that it’s meant to be.

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