calling all parents

I have vivid memories of being a kid and sweeping my living room floor and after finishing, my dad, who had been laying on the couch, telling me I missed some. He would also “critic” my art. I know that feeling of not pleasing someone.

My kids art is perfect and get’s a place of honor. From the fridge to the tac board, my living room walls, the front door. Right now I have a picture of big bird that my daughter taped on my bedroom wall. Their chores on the other hand are another story. All of my kids have chores. Simple things, but things they need to learn none the less. Zac is supposed to sweep the dirt and dust bunnies from the hard wood to the area rug in the living room and then vacuum it. He is supposed to shake o/ the little rug at the front door and sweep up the dirt. Sound like something a gonna be 9 in 2 days year old can handle right?? He typically skips sweeping at least half of the room when he thinks I am not watching. The thing is, I can always tell, dust bunnies multiply quickly in this house. So I show him what he missed. He always get’s mad. I don’t really care if he’s mad or not. He should have done it right the 1st time.

Thing is, I don’t want him to feel like he can’t please me. When i can tell that he really did a good job, even if I see something he missed, I tell him it looks nice. I always tell him when he did a good job. But most of the time he doesn’t. That is not me being picky, it is him being lazy. He literally will only do half the room if he thinks he can get away w/ it. (But if he has something he wants to do and knows he has to do his chore 1st, then he does it, and he does it well) I make him do it over if it’s not right. But I am tired of having to go after him. He has had this chore for over a year now. It has never gotten any better.

So, give me advice. How do I get him to do it right the 1st time? You’d think he’d be tired of doing the chore twice right? Zai is the same way. He’s actually worse. I just don’t get it. What do you do w/ your kids?? I am at a loss. I am tired of gripping at them. I don’t want them to feel like they can’t do it right.

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~ by doulangel on August 4, 2008.

5 Responses to “calling all parents”

  1. Well being a mother of three boys too l know what you are going through. And wish that l could tell you how to get them to do it right the first time, but l can tell you and at their young age it instills in there mind what you have taught them and they will be better house keepers when they are older!
    My three boys all the grown and have there own homes and they keep them VERY CLEAN. So bear with it, it dose get better.
    I just found your blog and l love it.
    Yours truly, Deanna B.

  2. Hi Deanna, thanx for visiting. Here’s hoping I have clean boys to look forward to!!

  3. Oh gosh, my boys didn’t do very well with cleaning either. I don’t think you’re picking on them if you point it out when they didn’t do it right. I don’t think children think that a clean house is a good ‘reward’ for doing chores! I remember that I usually picked a day for cleaning and warned them in advance. I assigned jobs for each one. My hubby and I both cleaned stuff too. It was like a weekly family project. Nobody went anywhere or had friends over until it was all done.
    Could you offer them a small piece of candy or a sticker chart with a reward after ‘x’ amount of stickers are earned? Obviously they only get the ‘reward’ (something small like jolly ranchers hard candy) if the job is done correctly. Somehow you have to motivate them with something they like.

  4. btw- I keep their art up in the kitchen. I even had a splatter painting from preschool framed (16 yrs ago!) and put it up in the entryway. I still have FPM’s baseball all-star award hanging around too.

  5. My mom always criticized if I didn’t do a 100% perfect cleaning job. “I can still see dust under that chair!” etc. etc etc. The bottom line was, I couldn’t go out and play or go to a friend’s house or whatever till it was done right. I learned pretty quickly to do it right the first time b/c it takes MORE time to do it over again.

    Of course there was never ANY pleasing my mom no matter what it was I was doing – cleaning, the clothes I wore, driving, swimming, my hair, my weight, my radio show in high school, my grades, etc etc etc. So I am living testament to the child that ran as far away as she could from a mother that was too uber critical.

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