adults?? & birthing days…

Yesterday was #1’s birthday. Since I’ve been blogging I have unsuccessfully been able to come up with anything unique or clever to call them by. And I’m tired of the number thing. So I will call them by some of their nicknames. #1 will now be referred to as Zac, #2 as Za-man and you already know #3 as sis.

So anyhoo, Zac is 8 now. We had his party Sunday night and I have to tell you that it sucked. Thankfully he was spared most of the crap. I was in tears as we left. I was so upset, and disappointed. I try really hard to make their days and their parties wonderful for them. He wanted a pool party, so we had it at my moms new apartment, which has a pool. We only invited family and he had 3 of his cousins there. One of my aunts, who is actually my great aunt she’s 78 I think. She’s never married or had any children and I cut her ALOT of slack. She is a bit on the anit-social, grumpy side. By that I mean she gets offended WAY too easily. She got mad b/c my kids were more excited to see their cousin than they were her, their cousin that they see like 2x a year b/c she lives in Ohio(!) she got mad b/c Zac didn’t speak to her enough, she got mad b/c Zac who was at 1st exited when he opened the gift she gave him, got even more excited when he opened the skateboard that we bought him (it was really cool with spider man on it!! what more could an 8 yo who loves to board want??) she got mad b/c i forgot to introduce her to my sis (used to be in law) she got mad b/c she turned down a wrong road when she got there..ohmygosh is there anything else she could possibly gripe about??!! I have to tell you, I run around on egg shells trying to keep her happy and smooth things over, b/c i luv her and respect her and respect the way she lives and how old and crotchety she is. But I will absolutely NOT apologize for every little thing my kids do, they are children!! And they act like children. Frankly we were all relieved when she left. Zac only had to endure one of her comments that she directed at him, and I think it slid right off his back. They long ago learned that she is mostly bark and no bite. And truly she is a really neat lady and I go o/o my way to make her a part of our lives, b/c I feel like she enriches them. But there are times, like this one, when I can’t take her anymore.

And lest we blame all the drama on her, my parents whose divorce was finalized sometime in either June or July, got in an argument right after grumpy pants left(!) I kept trying to ignore it, but they got louder and louder and finally I let out an “I think maybe you 2 should have this discussion at another time!!” and walked away…..

It will never cease to amaze me how adults act worse than kids. Who caused all the uproar at this party? Not any of the 6 children that were there!!

Today was much, much calmer. I cancelled or rescheduled 3 appointments today and we all stayed home. I just felt the need to be together and home. In one week I had a birth, a birthday party, a cook out, a wedding and my sis in town. Hubby put the kids to bed 4x alone this week. He’s an old pro, but we like it much better when we do it together. So I took Zac to Martins and we got a movie from the RedBox (have you guys tried that yet? a dollar a day, no late fees!!) and bought a brownie mix. He picked out both of them. They took showers and we made the brownies and watched the movie as a family. It was very soothing….

Speaking of Zac, his was my most traumatic birth. I won’t give you the whole story b/c it would take too long. Basically, I was uneducated about birth and I had a horrendous Dr. & I was too intimidated to speak up for myself. So I agreed to be induced after going 5 days past my edd. It was a very typical “failure to progress” case of bad OB care. I have had a hard time of reconciling what I know now with what happened in his birth, which resulted in a c-section. Which resulted in 2 more c-sections. And yes, “at least I have a healthy baby” but I was robbed of 3 beautiful births, and that I will never get back. And as I do research, I think, did I have a healthy baby? I have an 8 yo who has ADD and chronically get’s headaches. Who struggles with reading and controlling his emotions. Did you know that they are now linking ADD with epidurals? I know, this isn’t my typical “yey it’s my birthing day” post. But it wasn’t a typical birth. Well, actually with 50% of US women having surgical births maybe it was(!) But it will always be bitter sweet for us. 2 days b4 Zac was born Hubby went o/ for a walk b/c he couldn’t sleep. It was dark out and he was stabbed. They wanted $ and he didn’t have any on him. He was the 3rd person they mugged that night and they got pregressively violent as they went along. That is kind of a long story that I think I will elaborate on in it’s own post. But he was stabbed in his face, kind of slashed I guess you could say. So all of our brand new baby still in hospital pics he has this swollen, stitched up face. (don’t get me wrong, he’s just as gorgeous as ever!) So can you see why this birthing day is always just not quite as easy to “celebrate?”

I do have a great 8 year old though. We have the best conversations. It’s so fun to talk to him as he get’s older. To watch him mature. I will never forget a few months after I had him, I was talking with a lady at church and she was commenting on how fast he was growing. She had teenagers at that time. She said something to me about how she had enjoyed every stage of her kids. And I thought to myself then that I hope I do too. And I truly have. I loved them as babies, endured them as toddlers (no-just kidding!!) adored them as toddlers, and am now delighting in them as they continue to amaze and surprise me with their personalities…

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~ by doulangel on August 7, 2007.

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